In relationships, we often enter with expectations—how things should be, how our partner should act, and how the relationship should progress. But what happens when reality doesn’t match our expectations? When our partner isn’t who we thought they were or isn’t acting in a way that aligns with what we need?
Many times, when issues arise, one partner might say, “I’ll change.” And while the intention might be genuine, it’s important to understand that change isn’t instant. True transformation takes time, effort, and commitment
Understanding the Process of Change
Change isn’t something that happens overnight. It’s a gradual process that can take months or even years, depending on the person and the habits they are trying to break. It requires:
• Time – Change could take anywhere from three months to a year or even longer, depending on what’s being worked on.
• Consistency – A one-time effort isn’t enough. Lasting change requires continuous action.
• Grace – The person working on themselves will have setbacks, and patience is needed as they navigate their growth.
The Role of Patience in Change
If you’re on the receiving end of someone promising to change, ask yourself:
1. Am I willing to wait? Change takes time, and you need to decide if you have the patience to see it through.
2. How long am I willing to wait? Setting a personal timeline can help manage expectations.
3. What boundaries do I need to set? You don’t have to endure mistreatment while someone is “changing.” Boundaries ensure your needs are still met.
During this process, there will be challenges—frustration, moments of doubt, and setbacks. Growth isn’t linear. The key is to look at their actions over time, not just their words.
Should You Wait or Walk Away?
Not everyone is obligated to wait for someone to change. If being patient means sacrificing your own happiness, peace, or well-being, it’s okay to step away. True change comes from within, and sometimes the best thing you can do is give someone the space to grow—whether that’s with you or on their own.
Final Thoughts
If you’re navigating change in a relationship, remember: patience is important, but so is knowing your worth. Change is a process, but so is deciding what’s best for you.
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